Passages for the Modern Accomplished Lady

Femininity: The quality or condition of being feminine.

Quality: Essential character; nature.

Character: Moral or ethical strength.

This passage is one that I am extremely excited about because, after studying this topic for a while, I uncovered something that was very interesting to me. I hope it is interesting to you as well. 

The definition above states that femininity is the quality or condition of being feminine.  Upon reading that, I knew that that definition alone would not be enough for me to truly understand the word. So, I then found out what quality meant, since femininity is the quality of being feminine.  When I looked up quality and read the definition, I realized something important.  If the definition of quality is our essential character, then the root of women being feminine and men being masculine is our CHARACTER.  Interestingly, character is defined as moral or ethical strength.  Therefore, this is the interesting discovery I found, FEMININITY IS DIRECTLY LINKED TO MORAL AND ETHICAL STRENGTH.

Please understand, I am not saying that someone who is a tomboy doesn’t have moral or ethical strength.  In fact, there are probably some that have MORE than some girls that love dresses and accessories.  But does being a tomboy mean you are not feminine?  Tomboy’s definition is: “a girl who likes rough games and activities.”  I am pretty sure there are feminine tomboys out there.  I like rough outdoor activities so I would count myself as a feminine tomboy.   If femininity is moral and ethical, than it is more than just what we like and, or, dislike.

Look at this picture:

Now this one:

Isn’t there such a difference in the way women are portrayed then and now?  I am not saying that we all need to go out and buy 50’s dresses.  In fact, fashion is a whole other subject we will cover another time.  I am saying, that femininity comes from within, and even in these two pictures you can see the difference between the two.  Perhaps femininity is disappearing because morals and ethics are disappearing. 

When I think of the word femininity, I think of how a woman carries herself.  Usually dignity and grace are other words that come to mind.  I will be honest in saying that usually I feel, as a stay at home mom, that I don’t worry about femininity too much.  I will also be honest in saying; I would love to feel feminine MORE.  There are some women today that I look at and think, “WOW!  Now that is one classy lady.  She carries herself so poised, and is very feminine.  I want to be like that.”  Here is one example:

But then when I try to become that, I feel weird because I am not from that generation, and I don’t feel walking around in a business suit is very practical for a stay at home mom.  To be brutally honest, neither is the 50s dress, or rarely is ANY dress practical for a mom on the go.  I always feel like I am at this point in my life where I don’t fit anywhere.  I don’t fit in with the Julie Andrews crowd, and I don’t fit in with the hip and trendy crowd.  But, after doing this research I have realized that femininity is from within.  It’s true I can’t, nor do I WANT to, wear a business suit like Julie Andrews all day, BUT I can carry myself like her by building my personal character. 

We have talked in SEVERAL passages about putting away our selfish desires.  As we do that, we build our moral and ethical strength.  Our TRUE FEMNINE CHARACTER shines through.  “Our true feminine character”, meaning the one that God gave us. 

Look at this picture:

This mom is in jeans and a shirt, and yet look how feminine she is!  I love this one too:

Loving rough outdoor activities can still be feminine too!  Femininity is about what our character is made up of.  A man who is in his TRUE moral character is just naturally different, than a female who is in her TRUE moral character.  This is because the root of femininity and masculinity is our souls. So here is the hard question:  Do we FEEL feminine, and if not, what is going on INSIDE of us that is keeping us from our divine femininity?  I don’t have an answer because everyone is different, but thought provoking isn’t it?  Think about it, how can we present ourselves with grace and dignity when what we CHOOSE to watch, listen to, say, or even THINK is not full of grace and dignity?

Ladies, we can bring femininity back.  We can carry ourselves with grace and dignity as we strive to strengthen our moral and ethical strength.  As we do so we will be becoming who God intends us to be. We will feel a literal change in ourselves, a feminine change, because as we come closer to Christ, we become closer to who He WANTS us to be. Remember that this change is going to have to be looked at moment-by-moment, choice-by-choice.  Let us find the courage inside to increase our femininity so we can better the world around us.  We can make our contributions one feminine way at a time.

Yours truly,

5 Tips on Femininity

1.  Think about someone you feel has femininity that you want to emulate.  List the things that you feel make them that way.  Come up with small goals that will help you bring those things into your life.

2. At the end of the day, pick out the moments when you felt the most feminine.  Think about why you felt that way, and how you can feel that way more.  These may be when your hair is done, getting dressed etc.  Try to find times that don’t have to do with your outside appearance as well.

3. At the end of the day, pick out the moments when you felt the least feminine. Think about why you felt that way, and how you can avoid feeling that way more.

4. Think of one moral or ethical thing you would like to better in your life.  Come up with a plan as to how you will accomplish this.

5. Ask a spouse, or a male friend what he thinks of when he hears the word feminine.  Think about how you fit in what he is saying, and what areas you can improve to come across more feminine.