Language: Communication of thoughts and feelings; a particular manner of expression.
One of my favorite things about Pride and Prejudice and other stories of that kind, is the language used within them. Even an insult back in those days was said with grace and propriety. Please understand that good language doesn’t make an insult right, but it is interesting how much in that era women, and men for that matter, censored their words. Today, the art of language is becoming lost. Not only has censorship gone out the window, but the breadth and depth of vocabulary that was used in earlier times, has greatly been diminished as well.
Censorship
What comes to your mind when you hear censor? Most of us would probably say that it means to ban or to limit. Though that is part of it, there is also another way to look at it. Censorship is all about choice. Choosing between words, not just limiting words. The world has told us that censoring is wrong, and that it limits our freedom. We also hear that censoring is just trying to ignore things that really do exist; or trying to live in a bubble.
My little boy LOVES M&M minis- they are the perfect size for him, they are brightly colored, they are chocolate, and they taste GOOD. Whenever I put a little handful in front of him he eats all the colored ones and leaves the brown ones. Does that mean he is trying to ignore the fact that the brown ones exist? No, he just chooses not to eat them. Like my son and M&Ms, when we choose to censor things, we are not ignoring that those things exist; we are choosing to not allow them into our lives. Last week, we pointed out that just because something isn’t recognized, doesn’t mean it is not there. Censorship is not about limiting freedom; it is about the individual’s choice to have their definition of freedom. That is why the analogy of living in a bubble is funny to me. A bubble is clear, those inside can see everything around them, but they choose what to let in and out of that bubble. It would be more affective to say people live in a box. In a box, they can’t see what’s around them at all, only what is in front of them. In my opinion, EVERYONE lives in a bubble. We choose what we want in our lives, and what we DON'T want in our lives. Even people who choose not to be religious, are CHOOSING not to allow religion into their bubble. Please understand, that there is nothing wrong with that. Although, for some reason we are tricked into thinking that living in a bubble is a negative thing so we fight our whole lives to NOT live in a bubble. Sadly, we are wasting precious time on fighting what is at the very core of ourselves. Our conscience is our bubble. One person’s bubble is not more right than anothers, and one person’s bubble doesn’t give them the right to judge someone else’s bubble, but the point is we ALL have a bubble.
Censorship, in regards to language, is more than external words; it is the internal motive behind the word. It is the idea of mastering the self-motive inside, by choosing the word that should be said. When we carefully censor the things we say to those around us, we have the opportunity to build loving relationships. Please don’t misunderstand; I do NOT believe that means we ignore the hard conversations that need to be had. As human beings we have the responsibility and obligation to be loyal to the things we believe in. This means, that sometimes-hard conversations have to be addressed. Also, as we teach children the difference between right and wrong, good and bad, hard conversations are often a priority. Through the difficult conversations though, we can carefully censor, and choose the RIGHT things that need to be said rather than just what we WANT to say.
Watch this clip:
I love this because though there are moments where they both say exactly what they WANT to say, you can see so clearly the censorship of their words. Even when they do “LOSE IT”, immediately following they ask sincerely for forgiveness. Interesting that censorship was all about saying the appropriate thing to one another. Wanting to be careful with another’s delicate feelings, and treating them with the utmost respect. Even in this argument, I think both of them left having had much to think about, rather than leaving feeling gratified that they got to say EVERYTHING they wanted to say and more. Though it did not go as planned, they were able to make some sort of self-progression due to what was brought up in the conversation. They LEARNED FROM each other, rather then just HURT each other. Most of us would agree that we would want to be treated with that kind of respect, and yet I wonder how many of us TREAT OTHERS with it. I know I do not always treat others with respect, but hopefully taking this time to think about it, I can move closer to changing.
Watch this clip:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJOcKJNGGCE
Now, I LOVE this movie too, but notice the difference in the LANGUAGE. She said exactly what SHE wanted to say, without any censorship. As the conversation ended, was there any room for self-progression? Did they learn from one another, or just hurt each another? Now, please understand, I am not knocking this movie AT ALL, it is a totally different time period. Women then, were just beginning to be allowed to speak their minds, and say what they wanted. This step was needed for the progression of healthy couples. With any new progression, however, mistakes are often made. The question is: are we LEARNING from these societal mistakes, or adding to them? Can we look at both and realize that they are BOTH right with MODERATION? It is a blessing to have the ability to speak our minds, but we also STILL have the ability, to use censorship. The question is no longer CAN we speak our minds, but SHOULD we? I believe that sometimes the answer to that will be a strong YES and sometimes it is a NO. I wonder if this shift into “speaking our minds”, helped lead to the ever popular selfish motive of “ME” first? Women, no longer had to do what they were told. They could say “MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY.” Again, this NEEDED to happen in history, but are we taking it to far? I don’t know, but thought provoking isn’t it?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we used the positives of both mentalities? I believe THAT is what being a modern accomplished lady is all about. Enjoying the blessings of modern living, while clinging to the roots of traditional values. Think of how amazing it would be if we could blend the positives. Speak our minds boldly when needed, and censor our strong voices when it is not needed. I wonder what would happen in our homes if we were to practice censoring our language, and turning our thoughts outward. I wonder if we would learn from each other in hard conversations, and better our situations through dialogue. I know there are times when dialogue makes a situation worse because I have not censored what I have said, and I am sure there have been times I have limited my self-progression because there were no moments where true dialogue was taking place. Interesting, that not censoring limits inward progression, therefore, it limits our freedom.
Breadth and Depth of vocabulary
Watch this clip:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quRejoJ1UEI
Wow! Why don’t we talk like that anymore? The phrases they used had so much meaning, and so much beauty. It’s almost as if they have carefully thought out each word, it’s meaning, and placed each of them into a sentence that would accurately paint the picture they wanted. “Marry me, my wonderful darling friend.” From that simple sentence you take away how much he genuinely cares for her, more than just physically. We get how kind, and considerate he is. Words, back then, were used as a true expression of one’s self, where as today words seem to just be used to fill silence. Doesn’t expression take thought? Please understand, I believe that sometimes it is good to JUST talk, and trust that those around you are giving you the benefit of the doubt. MODERATION.
Watch this clip:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paaWhiRHUXg&NR=1
With the introduction of text messaging, television, and the Internet, it seems as if we have lost the true essence of language. We speak in abbreviations, in clichés, and generals. Conversation is no longer viewed as an art, and society doesn’t worry about trying to learn how to make it as such. I wish we could really understand the English language, and begin to take pride in what we say, and how we say it. I wonder if our views of people would change if we all spoke more civilized? I know language alone can’t change the hearts of people, but perhaps it would help. I tell my husband all the time that I can’t form the words that most accurately describe how I feel. I wonder if we had more sense about the art of language, if we would be better explained and better understood.
The Bible does not have a lot to say about our language but here is something it does say, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearer. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” I love these scriptures. This language is so beautiful, and exactly what we were talking about. It has all the depth of vocabulary language has to offer, and yet, censored to only speak the truth.
It’s interesting to me that in order to truly have the breath and depth of vocabulary, one MUST also have censorship. These two things go hand in hand. The holy Spirit can be present in good, censored conversation, bring peace, joy, and love, and strengthen the relationships with those around us. That is the purpose of communication and expression, to build relationships and communicate love.
Ladies, let us begin to learn the art of language. Let us study vocabulary, in order to have more choices, which will allow us to better censor our communications. Let us practice grace, and elegance in speech instead of hip, and trendy “chats”. Let us choose our words carefully, so that we might not harm even the most delicate feelings of those around us. As we do so, may we teach our families to do the same- that we might have peace, joy, and love in our homes more abundantly. Then our contributions will be a more complete expression of who we are trying to be. May we make our contributions with the most glorious language, one simple word at a time.
Yours truly,
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