Passages for the Modern Accomplished Lady

Meet Amanda

Amanda is most assuredly an accomplished lady, who realizes that patience is a virtue that can keep a lady focused, and keep life worth living. Amanda is a 30-year-old single woman. Though 30 is still very young, for someone who has longed for marriage and motherhood since the time she was a little girl, 30 years can sometimes seem like an eternity. But it’s not only that. Much more uncommonly, Amanda continues to hold strong to, and practice, abstinence because of her religious beliefs.


When I asked her how she stays motivated to live her life this way, despite the fact that it has not gone the way she had planned, she replied, “Because of my religion, I truly believe that God rewards those who are obedient; I don’t want to sell myself short. I know that my reward will be that much greater as I continue to be obedient to Him.” As we sat together, and she shared this with me, her eyes began to well up with tears; tears in honor of her struggle, and tears in honor of her feelings for God. I tear up just thinking about it, and feel so honored that she would share these feelings with us.

“Someone has said that patience is not giving up, but a quiet acceptance. I think it’s also a quiet, continual hope,” Amanda said. She has not given up on her dreams for a husband, and children. In fact, she continues to prepare herself for those things. That is something that really impresses me about Amanda. She is “technically”, still at a point in her life where she COULD be “living it up”, and making it “all about her”. Yet, she has done the exact opposite. “It’s hard to find ways that you are needed when you’re single. As a mother you look at your children, and though they may be driving you crazy that day, you are NEEDED.” Despite the difficulty, Amanda still spends her time finding the ways in which she is needed. She serves her family, her friends, her community, and is currently using her master’s degree, by giving back to the university where she received her bachelor’s degree. Amanda courageously chooses to make her simple contribution to OTHERS, instead of herself. When I asked her why she was here, doing what she’s doing, instead of out living the exciting single life MTV has so wildly portrayed, she said, “My greatest happiness will come from other things. I believe the best is yet to come, and how sad would I be if I threw it all away, only to have everything I have been waiting for come into my life tomorrow?” I had never thought of that. What a wonderful perspective. The choices we make today directly affect the outcomes of tomorrow. I wonder if everyone thought that way, if there would be fewer things like divorce in the world? How sad it would be, if we were to throw every relationship away, when perhaps the best is yet to come. Perhaps the very thing a marriage is struggling with today, would be gone tomorrow. Please understand, that I do believe that there are founded reasons that some marriages end in divorce. I am not in ANY position to judge anyone. I just think this is an interesting perspective, and one I plan to think on for years to come.

“Patience doesn’t work all the time; I have to remember to keep the faith,” Amanda said. She explained to me the struggle it is from time to time; that dating guys today is much different than dating guys as a younger woman. She told me about some Biblical scriptures from the Book of James chapter one which read, “Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work…” “As we understand our ability to be patient, it changes us, it softens us,” Amanda told me in the most confident, yet soft tone, proving to me that she had experienced this softening first hand. “We all have our battles. We don’t get out of life free,” she told me. That is true--we won’t leave this life free from an experience: an experience made up of our choices, our battles, God’s tests, and Satan’s temptations. But we MUST keep patience and hope through all of it. Seeing that Amanda keeps her hope, is not very hard. She carries herself with dignity and smiles often. She is usually seen reaching out to others, and would NEVER come across to anyone as being anything but a person FULL of hope.


To those that are in a similar situation as Amanda, she says, “It’s so easy to get pessimistic. Satan’s greatest tool is to try and destroy our hope. Try to find one thing a day that is joyful. It’s easy to find someone that is in need and can put our pain into perspective. Forget yourself and go to work serving others.”


To those Moms out there that struggle with feeling as though they have given up everything to be “JUST a mom”, remember this, “I wish for that EVERY SINGLE DAY,” says Amanda. “It’s true I don’t know the feeling of regret, the way a mother might feel regret, but a mother won’t know the feeling of loneliness, in the way that I know loneliness.” Amanda paused, thinking, and then said, “It may be a long time, just like me finding a husband,” she chuckled, “But there will come a day when your children will look at you and call you blessed. THAT’S worth patience.”


The patience this accomplished lady demonstrates, as she awaits her companion, is extremely noble. Though she has the excuse not to, she already gives of her time, talents, and love to others, preparing for the day that she will give them to her love. The definition of Patience was:


Patient-
1. Capable of calmly awaiting an outcome or result; Not hasty or impulsive.
2. Persevering; constant.
3. Tolerant; understanding.


Perhaps to that we ought to add:


4. Amanda




Yours truly,