Passages for the Modern Accomplished Lady

Patient- 

1.     Capable of calmly awaiting an outcome or result; Not hasty or impulsive.

2.     Persevering; constant.

3.     Tolerant; understanding.

When I think about traditional times--you know, the times we’ve talked about before--I think that they must have known what it meant to be patient.  Think about Pride and Prejudice.  In that time, they walked most places they went.  That alone exhibits more patience than we have!  Basically, their day was dedicated to that one thing that they were walking towards.  Now, we try to find as many things as we can possibly cram into 24 hours, and still complain that there are not more hours in a day.  Where has patience gone in our day?  I wonder if the only time we see patience is when circumstance forces us to, and even then, do we truly embody patience, or do we just wish the whole time that we could see the outcome RIGHT NOW?!  I love that the definition above gives us so many angles to look at patience from.  Let’s look at each definition together.

1. Capable of calmly awaiting an outcome or result; Not hasty or impulsive

I was thinking just the other day about how many times we see the word NOW in advertising.  TV, billboards, magazines, and newspaper ads are all showing us the things we need right NOW.  Many of us can clearly look at most of those things, and quickly reassure ourselves that we don’t NEED them, especially not right now.  However, I wonder if we realize the subconscious effect it has on us.  The pressure we feel to try and obtain things NOW.    We want the car, the house, the trip, the outfit, the Ipod, the Blackberry, RIGHT NOW!  I am sure there are many who don’t act upon the temptation, but the question is why do we allow the temptation to be there in the first place?  That is what has been so wonderful about writing these passages.  As I write about all of these subtle temptations we are facing in our modern society, I can uncover them, clearly look at them, and then realize that the person in control is myself.   I love the idea that patience is being capable of calmly awaiting an outcome or result.  If we can look at what’s important, discuss what is in moderation, and then patiently await the time and the season that is right for the thing or idea we desire, we can sift through all the pressures society is creating.  We can realize that we are in control of our lives and our choices, and we can be different.  Sure, we can have it all, but not all at once. 

The second half of the definition hints that there may be an even DEEPER level to patience.  Perhaps the question is not CAN I have it all, but SHOULD I have it all.  With hard work, dedication, and time, it is possible to obtain everything.  BUT, as we have gone through and talked about returning to the accomplished lady, identifying importance, and using moderation, we can see that we must decide what we SHOULD put our time into so we can simplify our lives.  Maybe that is the reason for the second half of the definition.  Patience is not hastily choosing, but calmly stepping back and making an educated decision--taking the time to study and ponder so that we can act according to what we SHOULD do, not what we CAN do.  This also has another angle to it.  We as women, tend to not just HAVE it all, but to DO it all.  “…Let us run with patience the race that is set before us,” the Bible says.  Sometimes we have to say “No”, even to good things, so we don’t run faster than we have strength.

2.     Persevering, constant.

This is the part of the definition that most of us see in our lives.  Circumstances where hardship or trial is around allow us the opportunity to persevere.  Sometimes, when the trial is long, we are FORCED to persevere.  I wonder if we can really call that patience?  Is patience just enduring, or is it more than that?   Perhaps patience has something to do with the ATTITUDE in which we endure.   The definition above also says constant, which means, “steadfast in purpose, loyalty, or affection; FAITHFUL.”  I find it interesting that the word faithful is used.  In the Bible, faith is commonly grouped with hope and charity.   If the attitude, in which a person endures is despair and anger, though the endurance may be long, are we patient?   Or, is the person who endures in the attitude of hope and love patient?  Now, let me clarify by saying that those who endure with hope and love probably don’t LOVE the thing they are enduring.  Enduring denotes some sort of hardship, or obstacle.  Hope and love are not always fun, but they are full of trust and confidence.  A patient person trusts in God’s ability to deliver them, but has the willingness to allow the deliverance to be on God’s time.   That does not mean that we can’t ask “why” or “is there another way”.  Jesus Christ, the only perfect man to walk the earth, asked that, but then followed it with, “Not my will, but Thine be done.”

I tend to struggle with persevering.  I want to know the answers, or experience the deliverance right away, but I believe that change is possible.

3.     Tolerant; Understanding

In the Bible we read, “He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding,” “… Be patient toward all men.”  Patience also has a level of love to it as well.  Choosing to not hastily jump to anger, but slowly try to understand, is a challenge of a lifetime.  As wives and mothers, we face this challenge several times a day.  We have children and spouses that sometimes act differently than we would hope, but we are they ONLY ones responsible for how we respond.  We can act with love and understanding.  Even if we try to find one thing that we could get angry about, but just let go, we might learn something about patience.  Please understand, that I am FAR from being perfect at this.   In fact, I hope that by writing this, I might be motivated to be better.  I do think, however, that by living in a world that is telling us that you have to do what makes you happy, no one can tell you what to do, etc, we run the risk of blindly living that way and treating others accordingly. We try so hard to straddle the line between contemporary thinking and traditional beliefs, and try to get them to coexist, but do they?  Can we profess to BELIEVE in traditional values, but LIVE a contemporary life style? Are we happy trying to do both?  I don’t know the answer to that, but thought provoking isn’t it?

Ladies, I wonder if the reason we are meant to be wives and mothers, the reason some of us are still dealing with the yearnings to be wives and mothers is all for us to learn and cultivate patience.  We can look at the worlds temptations of being first, having it now, and being right, squarely in the face and say, “PATIENCE!”   We can continue to feel comfort in the fact that there are accomplished women out there in the modern world daring to be different.  We can patiently make our contribution one simple way at a time.

Yours truly,